


Twas The Night Before Strider-mas

by TheMockingCrows



Category: Homestuck
Genre: M/M, Poetry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-24
Updated: 2012-12-24
Packaged: 2017-11-22 05:07:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 519
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/606142
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheMockingCrows/pseuds/TheMockingCrows
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>An original version of Twas The Night Before Christmas, where in Santa Bro appears to make John and Dave's holiday a little less lame.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Twas The Night Before Strider-mas

Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the pad

The only things stirring were two dudes quite mad.

The stockings weren’t hung, the fridge filled with air,

No presents were wrapped, and the tree was quite bare.

 

When they could be snuggled like mice in their bed,

Instead these two fools were rubbing their heads.

For headaches were blooming and hangovers flared,

Christmas was upon them, and they were not prepared.

 

When up on the roof there arose such a fuss,

It took great care for their pants to not muss.

Away to the roof the boys flew like a flash,

Armed with a katana and pillow, so brash!

 

The full moon overhead on the city below,

Softened the usual city smog halo.

When what to their curious eyes should appear,

But a crazed man in a cap with his puppet so dear.

 

He was lanky and long, far faster than sight,

While the puppet was fly, his golden tooth bright.

More stealthy than ninja, his trap he did spring,

For a mountain of smuppets this rude fuck did somehow bring.

 

“Now Dave, little man, Davey,  boo.”

“Somehow I expected far more from you.”

“The nerd doesn’t know, he couldn’t be set.”

“But I raised you right, you know this ain’t over yet.”

 

As the shadows he mimicked, the man left their sight,

While the puppet sprang forward, alive in the moonlight.

The battle was vicious, as Dave parried and blocked,

While John watched from the side as his best friend got clocked.

 

And then, in a flash step, the man reappeared,

Smirking as he murmured, “Maybe next year.”

In the blink of an eye, he’d gone away once more,

While from behind them, they heard the slam of the door.

 

Alas it was locked, and they were both screwed,

Locked out of their home till Bro stopped being rude.

Or if nothing else at the least,

Until they’d given him his fill of their pathetic begging feast.

 

Right at that instant, Bro walked into their home,

Eyeing the sparse sights of the spaces they roamed.

 No, no, this was wrong. It simple wouldn’t do!

There were things to be done, and not just a few. 

 

As he worked on his project, elbow deep in plush rump,

The door to the rooftop rattled and thumped.

At long last it opened and they stumbled in once more,

Teeth chattering in their skulls, chilled through to their core.

 

While the perpetrator was gone by the time they arrived,

There was evidence left of the pleasure he derived.

The tree was strung with tiny smuppets and fleece,

Lube packets, sex toys, handcuffs and beads.

 

The presents were wrapped with perfection and care,

Though none were opened, for fear of what was waiting there.

All over were lights and artificial snow,

Along with a note that began, “I hope now Christmas won’t blow.”

 

“Your everything sucked and I pitied your ass.”

“Fixed you up good, and I gave it some class.”

“There’s food in the fridge and some new toys for your beau,”

“So Happy Christmas you prick, formally yours, Santa Bro.”

 

**Author's Note:**

> Original tumblr link- http://themockingcrows.tumblr.com/post/38674798294/twas-the-night-before-strider-mas


End file.
